A Little Soul Searching Is Good For You

I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately. It kicked into high gear last night just looking at how messy my house has become. I think it's a metaphor for my life in general. The problem is a limited amount of time & a ton of things I really want to do. I feel pulled toward a lot of really good stuff, (My “Good to Great” study is kicking into high gear) but wonder if I'm really doing my best. On top of that, I'm trying really hard to work out every day & by 8 or 9 pm, I'm pretty spent. I can remember a time not that many years ago that I could run pretty hard on 3-4 hours of sleep. Those days are definitely gone.

For those of you who wonder how busy a guy can be, let me share the biggest stuff that's plunked firmly into my existence.

First off, I have the greatest wife a guy could have. God has blessed me in ways I can not even begin to enumerate. And I want to be able to spend time with her & my kids & especially my grandson. Family has not always been the highest priority for me, but I've reached that stage of life where I know that giving family less than the highest of priorities is a dumb thing indeed.

Secondly, I'm trying to get my Investment business to a point of profitability. That in and off itself has been a greater challenge than I first thought. I have a lot of passion to help people put their financial lives in order but they don't always cooperate. My entire life has been in & out of the financial services industry and while it's going fairly well, it takes up an overwhelming amount of emotional energy. If only I could make people do what is in their best interest.... hmmmm.

There is my church which I absolutely love. I love the staff & the direction that the church is going. God has opened doors there to serve in a multitude of ways & I am excited by the opportunity. But it is way more than just a couple of hours on a weekend thing for me. The problem is that I can not imagine not doing what I'm doing there. In fact, I wish I could do more.

In addition to that I'm involved in a men's group that is really meeting a need in my life. I love being able to really know guys who are just like me in many respects, trying to serve God & be the best Christ follower, husband, dad, grandpa I can.

One of my real passions has been teaching Scuba. It is the reason I created C-Life Adventures in the first place. Though I've been trying to teach a Newbie group every month, mostly I do that so that I get to dive. It's also why I serve as the Advisor/Coach for the UCF Dive Club.

Then there is the Walsh University Alumni Association of which I serve as the Florida Chapter president, my Lodge which has just asked me to serve on the Finance team and the Chamber of Commerce where I serve as an Ambassador. On top of that I still need to mow the grass every week & clean my garage.

I hope no one sees this as just a rant or complaint session. I also hope no one sees this a a bragging session. Just the opposite. I've often found writing stuff like this out helped me to put things in perspective. Writing has often been cathartic for me. Most importantly, the older I get the more I realize that time is a precious thing. While we all get the same number of hours, I want to fill them with the most important stuff I can.

But I suppose at the heart of the question is whether I feel I am doing what God wants me to do. On a bunch of levels, I feel like I'm juggling too many balls but choosing to let things go has always been difficult. I suppose that has been the purpose of writing this today. I've allowed my life to get out of balance & now I need to refocus my priorities. It makes me sad, but I know that if I continue to go down all these paths, I'll burn out or break down fairly quickly. I've been praying a lot about whether to continue with some of the stuff & some of it definitely has to go. For me, the hard part is choosing those things in life that bring the greatest honor to God.

Well, that's enough for today. I'm pretty sure I know what I have to do. The problem is actually pulling the plug on a few of the things I'm involved in. But that's what life is all about . . . making choices. And I choose to only put in those things that will help me be my best. I pray God gives me the wisdom to the right things.

I hope to choose wisely. I hope you do as well.